“A little bit of what you

fancy does you good.”

(Or so it should.)

I heard a man ordering drinks for he and his partner: “Scotch and Diet, and a Portergaff please.”

Enjoy yourself, and pretend the rest.

Advertisement for sports panadol

"Extreme gain for extreme pain.”

Advice on interview technique

“Be funny but don’t make them laugh.”

Lesson for the church, as well as people:

Live life as a love story, not a power story.

To god:

“Kissing your arse is not getting me anywhere.”

Definition of emo

Melancholy grunge, a bit dorky.

GNOMES AND A HAIKU

GNOMES AND A HAIKU

Some people fake their own death,

I’m faking my life.

_____

The purpose of life is to

make art possible.

_____

Dad gives advice to his son:

“Don’t piss off your wife.”

_____

I am an exact copy

of the man I am.

_____

I want love and sex.

Coffee is sex; tea is love.

I want sex and love.

_____

a place where matter becomes

probability

The universe duplicates

every time we look.

There is not single now, now.

And there never was.

Time keeps everything from

happening at once.

_____

I can see water. I see

buildings. Oh my god.

_____

your entire life is structured

by death’s imminence

Viagra slogan: “You want it? You got it.”

Rented a tent, a tent, a tent.

Rented a tent, a tent, a tent.

Rented a tent.

Rented a tent.

Rented a rented a tent.

Wheatsheaf

A drunk woman at the Wheatsheaf introduced herself to me as Anna, and, before I’d rejoined others at the bar three minutes later, she told me that she loved me. Her kind comment lost its credibility later when she fell off a chair.

backyard

I noticed a koala in the big SE gum tree. Then I saw another koala on an overhanging branch. I walked over to the lawn’s edge and stood under them; they cackle-hooted appallingly at each other. A helicopter went over.

Belated election notes

One of the best lines of the long campaign was by the shadow minister for health, who, before Tony Abbott turned up late to a debate, joked: “I could do an impression of him if it helps.”

Howard appeared old and cynical throughout. One faux pas was described generously by a commentator as Howard dealing with “the semantics of a politically difficult moment.

The swing against the government was decisive and consistent. For nearly a year polls had shown this. Occasional sample surveys produced equivocal results — some commentators ignored these, and even implied that a survey only has credibility if it’s not erratic — but I suspect these late polls were a media beat-up, pretending it would be close to sell papers on election eve.

During the landslide Labor victory, whoops could be heard from parties nearby to us. Their win felt most satisfactory, and the piece de resistance was Maxine McHugh —remembering her fondly, maturing like a big sister, from decades of ABC reporting — winning the PM’s seat. (I suspected that Howard would rather have lost government if he could have retained his seat.)

I hope it augurs a more compassionate Australia.

I want to see nothing ever again of John Howard. I hope, though, that he will always painfully regret he didn’t resign a year ago while he was on top. But instead, against advice (since the 1980s, Howard has been a one-man band) he stayed on — and he will be remembered as the one who cast the Liberal Party into the wilderness for half a generation.

Indeed, the next day a radio commentator said Howard crashed the car then handed Costello the keys. (Costello immediately threw them away, and resigned himself.)

If the centre doesn’t hold, should it?

The world is a machine for the making of gods.